Before the First

There's a joke here about meat in my mouth. Move along.

I’ll be honest. During the initial flurry of realization and the heady rush of awareness that followed my epiphany around how I wanted to put my voice out into the world- I had a lot of ideas about getting this platform up and going and what type of content I’d use to do it. But when I got to the point of writing this first post? Stumped. I have tons of ideas for projects and later content; I have a physical journal that sits at my desk so I can jot them down when they come to me. Nothing I’m planning to do here requires a timeline and none of them screamed to me that they should be the first thing up here, so instead, I’ll talk about what came BEFORE the first; why I’m doing this


I’ve always had an urge to create; growing up I was always drawing and painting or building with Legos. I read voraciously and my head was always full of stories. For me, the act of creating was the vehicle to tell a story more than an end unto itself. I got to use a camera for the first time in 5th grade for a project, and I was in love from then on out.

Fast forward a few decades and that desire to create is still deep in me. For the longest time, I was able to funnel it into my career, but creative problem solving doesn’t quite scratch the itch. I used it to fuel my passion to learn new hobbies, push myself in the gym, and help others around me grow too. As satisfying as each of those was, I still had an urge to get my voice out in the world. I got close with a few side projects- doing some commercial and residential design work, home renovations, and even a landscape photography side business, but it still wasn’t what I wanted. What I needed.

But the turning point came when I realized that I have 4 decades now of knowledge to share, across a very broad spectrum of topics that you wouldn’t think intersect all that often. Being a Gen X’r. Being queer. Growing up fat. No self-esteem. Coming from a conservative background in the Deep South. “Passing” for straight. Being in technology without a degree. A failed marriage. Being a self-taught technologist. Tattoos & piercings in technology and leadership. The list goes on and on. My hope is that while I do this for myself, forcing myself to look back and honor my path and love myself, I in turn can help others with their struggles too.

But if it’s just for me? That’s ok too.

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