There's a joke here about meat in my mouth. Move along.

Before the First

Categories Ruminations

I’ll be honest. During the initial flurry of realization and the heady rush of awareness that followed my epiphany around how I wanted to put my voice out into the world- I had a lot of ideas about getting this platform up and going and what type of content I’d use to do it. But when I got to the point of writing this first post? Stumped. I have tons of ideas for projects and later content; I have a physical journal that sits at my desk so I can jot them down when they come to me. Nothing I’m planning to do here requires a timeline and none of them screamed to me that they should be the first thing up here, so instead, I’ll talk about what came BEFORE the first; why I’m doing this


I’ve always had an urge to create; growing up I was always drawing and painting or building with Legos. I read voraciously and my head was always full of stories. For me, the act of creating was the vehicle to tell a story more than an end unto itself. I got to use a camera for the first time in 5th grade for a project, and I was in love from then on out.

Fast forward a few decades and that desire to create is still deep in me. For the longest time, I was able to funnel it into my career, but creative problem solving doesn’t quite scratch the itch. I used it to fuel my passion to learn new hobbies, push myself in the gym, and help others around me grow too. As satisfying as each of those was, I still had an urge to get my voice out in the world. I got close with a few side projects- doing some commercial and residential design work, home renovations, and even a landscape photography side business, but it still wasn’t what I wanted. What I needed.

But the turning point came when I realized that I have 4 decades now of knowledge to share, across a very broad spectrum of topics that you wouldn’t think intersect all that often. Being a Gen X’r. Being queer. Growing up fat. No self-esteem. Coming from a conservative background in the Deep South. “Passing” for straight. Being in technology without a degree. A failed marriage. Being a self-taught technologist. Tattoos & piercings in technology and leadership. The list goes on and on. My hope is that while I do this for myself, forcing myself to look back and honor my path and love myself, I in turn can help others with their struggles too.

But if it’s just for me? That’s ok too.