Life is funny sometimes. I came here tonight to write a blog post about chapters of life, only to find a draft titled that exact thing from July of last year.
Great minds think alike, I suppose.
I’m feeling pretty self reflective right now; it’s my last weekend being 47 (not that I mind) and I gotta tell you- I look back and I while I don’t feel old today, I definitely carry the weight of my experiences. It’s not so bad, to be honest, feeling anchored like this. In one way comforting, in another unnerving when I feel like just yesterday I was 36 and felt like my whole life was ahead of me.
Or 25 and my whole life was behind me. Perspective is a bitch.
I spent last weekend in Joshua Tree with a buddy and his boyfriend; JT has become my default place to turn off the outside world and touch grass (dirt) and try to reconnect with nature. It’s become the balance to the career rat race.
But the important part of the trip wasn’t the people, though they were good. It was me, sitting out in a chair in the yard of the Airbnb with no lights and a glass of whiskey watching the stars. Kyle called on his way home from work and I just let his voice wash over me while I contemplated my place in the universe. The next morning I woke up at literally the crack of dawn, hauled my camera rig outside and started shooting the sunrise with a cup of coffee and some jack rabbits.
I can’t express in words what that weekend did for me. This entire week at work I’ve been looser, more relaxed, more happy and more productive.
It made me realize that I haven’t picked up a camera in years. YEARS. I don’t know when I finished writing that chapter but picking it back up again that morning opened my eyes. I’m not done with being creative. I’m not just my job and burn out and IPOs.
I guess you’d say I’m ready to be a whole-ass person again. It only took watching the sun come up from this porch to make me realize it.
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